Beauty

They say 

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

So I let my eyes…

Look in the mirror

And see–-sparse wiry strands, a loose cover over my head

I feel deep loss of the beautiful thick curls that once filled my crown

Then I refocus

And see—the beauty within

I now see the colorful textiles embellishing my crown 

Which have become my new signature piece

And signify the joy of acceptance

Of what the strands are and are not 

I look in the mirror

And see--red polka-dots all over my face

I feel sadness over the effect that stress hormones had on my once flawless skin 

Then I refocus 

And see—the beauty within

I now see the  beautiful sparkling green eyes

Their ability to view the world so clearly

And to stop people in their tracks 

With reverence, I hold this gift 

I look in the mirror

And see—the loose, crinkled skin hanging from my belly

I feel the frustration that my body is no longer taut

Then I refocus

And see--the beauty within

I now see the flexibility of my body

The way it stretched to create a life within me 

And I see the possibilities 

Of all the things my body may be taught 

I look in the mirror

And see—the faded pink horseshoe-like scar above my right breast

I feel the overwhelming pain that I endured—both physically and emotionally

Then I refocus

And see--the beauty within

I now see the proof 

That I have endured

And I see the fading of the once deep red line

As a sign of how far I have traveled

I look in the mirror

And see—me

For all I am

And, alas, I refocus and see beauty

About the Author

Rebecca G. Feinberg. During the work week, Rebecca is the director of Foundation Relations at the University of Massachusetts Amherst Foundation. She works with faculty, staff, and students to secure private funding for campus research programs and initiatives with particular focus on wellbeing.

As a writer, Rebecca previously published with the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. She finds the process of writing instrumental in processing her feelings and emotions, a way to connect through authenticity. Rebecca writes with the intention that her poems and essays allow readers to know that they are not alone in their experiences and that their voice deserves to be heard. 

Please welcome Rebecca into the safe space of Starry Starry Kite where her courageous and unique voice can be witnessed, heard, and valued.